I read a blog this week that talked about being awesome; truly inhabiting it, knowing that awesome resides in your skin. It was so timely that I’ve been ruminating over it this past week. I’ve even taken to reminding myself that I shouldn’t let go of my awesome. It’s been rather empowering (though not in an cocky, arrogant way; instead it’s been a remaindered to seek truth, as I’ll explain in a moment.) But it took a chance encounter for this idea to really take shape…
I was at a local massage “spot” this weekend with a girlfriend, and overheard an older woman apologizing to her therapist for her appearance (“don’t worry about my bosoms, dear,” she said, “they’re just old and flop all over the place.”), her extra skin because she’d lost so much weight, even her, *ahem*, odor. She flippantly told the therapist, “ignore the smell; it’s just Tiger Balm, for all my aches.”
At first, I thought this entire conversation was comical. And I wondered how old, exactly, one has to be when you can unabashedly dismiss your bosoms and eau du Tiger Balm. But then, I wondered, if she was really unconcerned with them, why apologize? It occurred to me that these seemingly dismissive excuses were hiding embarrassment, a self-consciousness I thought was reserved for women my age (not a perky 20-something anymore, but not old enough to not care). I had to wonder further, when did she lose her awesome?
And more to the point, when did I lose mine?
I know I handed it over, incrementally, over the years. Until one day, I turned around and it was gone. I woke up without my awesome.
After much meditation I have decided, nay, pledged to reclaim my awesome. I know it’s mine, because, as Genesis says, I am made in the image of God (1:27). Psalm 139 also tells me that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (v. 14); and for that I am to praise God! Hence, this quest isn’t intended to glorify me or my awesome, but rediscover what God has already given (and subsequently restored/is restoring, through Jesus’s death on the cross); that I may rightly glorify Him.
I look at the picture above and can pick it apart with my eyes closed (hair, body, clothes, etc…). But guess what? I’m going to stop doing that. It’s an awesome slayer. Instead, I’m going to say (with the appropriate reverence to my Maker and humility at the work of His hands):
You know something else? You are awesome, too!
And so, for the next 21 Days, I'll be seeking Awesome. I am going to faithfully search in the only place it can be found: God’s heart. And where my earthly ideas and plans fall short, I will let Jesus fill in the gaps.*
Please, share your stories with me; let me know how your awesome is doing. Whether it resides squarely in your chest each morning; or if, like me, you will have to seek it out again. Because as we look for our true identities, we have to draw closer to the Author of our lives, the One who saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in [His] book before one of them came to be (Psalm 139:16). And through this, God will be glorified!
*don’t worry, this won’t be an exercise in sitting in front of a mirror, a la SNL, repeating: “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.” I’ll be seeking true identity, the one found only in Christ.