You can smell it in the air. The cool sharpness of coming rain. Grey armadas marching across open skies, pulling deep, charcoal walls in their wake. Blades of grass strain; leaves shiver, flowers shy with anticipation. The wind blows heavy and damp, bringing with it wetted expectation.
The clouds bristle with a fulfillment of what is yet to be; but somehow, somewhere, already is. A vow written in the sky. Like another, written on a heart. A promise that though it may not be felt now, may not be immediate and present, it is; and it will be. A proposal has been made:
Love me, above all others, the beloved asks. My heart is free to say no. I may turn and leave. But how could I? My beloved knows me. The beloved cherishes me, for who I am. At 3am and at 5pm, when I need healing and when I am well, when I have nothing and when I am rich in His love.
Wait for me, He says. He promises to return, yet He will be with me, in every breath. He leaves with me a part of Him; and goes to make plans for our forever after. There is thunder in His embrace, lightening in His gaze, and tender drops of rain to kiss my face, and wash away my tears that are borne from His absence. He holds me with His breath, and brushes my hair back with the winds. I close my eyes and know that I am His.
This is my awesome for today: I have been asked. And I will keep saying yes. Though it may not feel in the right here, all the time, right now; it both is and is yet to be. This is the mystery of Christ in me. Both fulfillment and continually opening up to greater completion; in anticipation of the day, in which this promise of hope and awesome wed. A day in which love will fully come to pass.
I can feel His love for me, here in the quiet of my room. I do not doubt. My awesome unfolding in my heart, hesitant, fragile. And I can see it coming like the clouds, heavy with rain to fall on my cheeks, wash away the un-awesome. To refresh a barren landscape and call forth the life underneath. His Love creates my Awesome.
My beloved speaks and says to me: “Arise, my love, my beautiful one, and come away.”
~Song of Solomon 2:10
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