Thursday, April 19, 2012

But not today

There are so many thoughts flinging themselves about my mind right now; their incessant buzzing and clanging making me long for a pause, for a stop to time.  All I want to do it sit down and pull each one out, sort through them like brittle albums, and breathe fullness into them, giving them a life on paper. 

But not today.
Today’s tasks, which are also yesterday’s tasks that rolled over having been left undone, have mounted against me as a warring army, throttling my gates and testing for weakness in my fortifications.  And yes, right now, there are many.

Who doesn’t have days like that?  Who doesn’t have weeks like that; or even seasons, when your to-do’s so far outpace the time we have that they swallow up the entirity of your focus, energy, and even breath.

That’s what grace is for.  Among other things.

In a few short weeks, I’ll be on the other side of finals, and likely drunk with the substantial amount of time I will have at my disposal.  It happens every year.
But until then, I must buckle down, put my head in my books and not look up.  I must let certain things fall by the wayside, like cleaning and cooking and makeup and play-dates and friendly coffees.  Not because I want to, nor because I am lazy; but because

                There are only so many hours in the day.

And so, I’m claiming grace for the next three weeks.  Grace for a messy house.  Grace for too much take-out.  Grace for hastily thrown together children; and an abject lack of activities with them.  Grace for basically falling-off-the-face-of-the-planet (which is the vortex also known as the library). 

                And that is okay.

I will try to put up a few thoughts, what I’m learning through my Greek studies or in my Old Testament class, or even just a blog that someone else has sent me to get me through these next twenty days.  But know that in my head and my heart, I’m storing up all these things to come back and share…after a short while.      

Grace will see me through to the other side.  I look forward to seeing you there, too.

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